Carnival Tabanca is a serious serious disease. It has been undiagnosed hitherto by Western medicine men, and exists purely within the West Indian cultural vaccuum. It is characterised by an intense longing to be in an enclosed space with as many people as possible, gyrating to the sounds of soca music.
To those of us who went to Trinidad this year, we did not have a bad case of Carnival Tabanca as we had our fill- but instead we had a serious Machel Tabanca. Machel chose to sit the season out and we had to make do with the HD Family. Ah mean, we dig Patrice and Kerwin is we boy but we real miss that "Huhhhh" and de "mad madder mad man" that is characteristic of our Crown Prince! Machel Tabanca is a different stage of the disease altogether, sufferers will be heard reciting the words of "Big Truck" at random intervals, searching for YouTube videos of "Too Young to Soca" and going insane when they hear the opening strains of "Tiefing a Little". They may also sign off as "Jack Horner" in their emails and need Machel songs like they need paracetamol for a headache.
To those of you suffering from late stages of Machel Tabanca, and can't fly to Miami or New York where all the shows seem to be taking place, TAKE NOTE the man himself will be in Amsterdam on Saturday 2 July for the first time in Holland.
Tickets are 22.50 euros (just about 20 quid). All yuh know that one ent missing me. Dah is meh man right there. Somebody say Easyjet!
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